After The Flood

Jersey got hit hard this winter....lots of snow and rain. Many people lost everything and their images on TV made me cry.

Then it happened to me and I wasn't sad, per se, but mad.

Mad that I had accumulates so much junk and now had to sift through it and decide what to with it all.

I had hoarded craft "stuff"". I truly feel I could have opened a store. Well, maybe not a store but rather a boutique....at least taught a class of some kind. Yeah, I could have done something

But no, I had held on to things I couldn't part with. No card or project was worthy of "that special" button, stamp, flower, or paper.

WOW! I held back from giving in order to save it for some highly honored occasion or person.

Did I have high hopes of becoming a contender in the stationary world or something? Was I waiting to make something for the President?... (actually I did make him a card after 911, he sent me a thank you and a picture).

So now, I have let go.

I let go of trying so hard to make things go my way, let go of over achieving (and if you knew me better, you would realize how big a feat that is), I have let go of worrying about what I should do next.

The flood came and forced me to realize that only God decides what I need to do.

I just have to pray, wait and listen.

The funny thing about all of that is: that while we where away skiing and the flood water were invading my hobbit hole ( a term of endearment my husband has for my craft studio) back home, I was up in Vermont making Artist Trading Cards (ATC) .

One of which was called "pray, wait and listen"

The listen part is "You are holding on to tight, let go.... I got you"

Now the birds are singing and I will just enjoy them and occasionally sneak a picture.

Will I make cards/tags? Yes, those which God calls me to make, when He calls me to make them.

Will I continue to take pictures, yes but not to HAVE to make a business out of it.....just for pleasure.

The flood has gone and I have some re-building to do. In my home and in myself.

The Big Picture

I am roaming in a forest most of my day....running around from one place to the next, from person to person, from one task to the next. From above (I think) I might look like a worker ant trying to get as much done as possible before sundown. Most of my day I only see my next step; hardly looking back ......but always dreaming and hoping for a "play day."

When I have a camera in my hand, I am able to see even the smallest most marvelous detail as well as the big picture. For me photography is total freedom and joy.

Most recently I was walking around the Meat Packing District in NYC, when a brightly painted door caught my eye. Following the bright hues from door to the adjacent wall, I stumbled on what I thought was just a splash of random graffti. Pretty colors and large brush strokes. I took a couple of shots and walked away.

It wasn't until I walked across the street was I able to appreciate the total mural. It was truly a work of art! Are there museums for such work? If not there should be? Wow! If I hadn't turned around to look back, I would have missed it.

It got me thinking. What will my whole mural look like? What images, words, actions will I leave behind? You start thinking like this when you reach 50! (There I said it.....within 36 days I will be 50.) What do the past 438,000 hours look like collectively?

Salut from Montréal!

Salut mes amis! How are you!?

Just doing a quick post about a recent trip to Toronto! My friend and I traveled all by our lil selves on a four and a half hour train from Montréal to Toronto to attend a Living Proof Live event! Now, I do have  so much to say about  the big fluffly bounteous bundles of LOVE that were so present and comforting and protective and inspiring at that conference. This chitlin must admit to you though, that she has a paper due at 10 a.m. sharp in dowtown Montréal tomorrow morning. (Yes, we students are made to personally hand in our papers to our wonderful professor. Please note I say that with the utmost respect but maybe just an itty bitty pinch of sassyness)

But about the conference! We were both seriously blessed by the Lord to be able to attend! My friend and I won two tickets to the event and oh mah. Was it awesome, was it amazing, was it moving. Encouraging, passionate, inspiring, uplifting, eye opening-God is so good and so faithful! And of course Ms. Bethie was so cute and just so into it. Her passion for the Word is infectious. My friend and I were so close to Ms. Beth as she spoke! Mon ami, it was so much fun.

Now I really must go finish mon papier.
I have one little picture of worship from the conference and that's basically all I was able to take! This little biddie was listening and singing and smiling with everything she had! My lil beat-up, bruised camera was taking a wee rest. And we were both all the better for it.

Our God saves!

Observing the Sabbath

A Day of Rest....

Ok so to say that as a mother of four life is not easy, is a big understatment. But I will say that being a mother at all is not easy. I mean you must, to some degree, die onto yourself. Whether you have one child or ten, your time is not your own. Your kids tell you all the time "oh mom...just relax" Ususally in response to " please clean your room, take out the trash and paint the garden fence" Really? I mean what kid has time to do of that? They are wound as tight as we are! Or is that just me and my kids?

Sometimes I feel I have lost the ability to relax. Right now, the house seems to be somewhat in order and quite. The husband is out food shopping. Yet, I am constantly looking at the clock, what is it that I HAVE to do next? What should I be doing? My whole life is planning the next step. The kids will need to be fed, then cleaned-up, then taken somewhere, but before I do that I have to plan the next meal. I am always about planning the next meal...

The thought of actually taking a day to rest is not really possible is it? Even if we didn't work a paying job can women really take a day off?

Well...... when it snows, or the power goes out everything has to stop, in New Jersey anyway.

This winter was wonderful in that regard! Lots of snow and peaceful nights. The kids get to see a normal and mellow woman with no agenda for the day. Candles, a fire, hot chocolate and a pedicure with my girls.

Time stands still and for a mom that is golden! Thank you God for me, myself and I. Life is good when you can breath out.

The work is always there waiting, take time to rest observe the Sabath.

Oooo..... to be a Woman!

We may not always feel lucky to be female, especially on bad hair days, when shopping for a bathing suit, or when cooking (or burning in my most recent two attempts) Thanksgiving dinner!
Girlfriends make it easier to laugh at ourselves when we catch a glimpse at our helmet hair on a humid Jersey summer, or when we see ourselves in the three-way mirror sporting the 2 lb bologna in 1 lb bag look in our polka-dot skirt bathing suit with the ruffled trim. Yes, yes we need our....daughters, sisters, mothers or nanas!

What is it about those close female relationships? Why can't we get the same warm, healing, and girlish levity from close male relationships?

I'll tell you why...it is the big "O"!
The "what?" you ask.
Oxytocin are neurotransmitter (most usually associated with childbirth and lactation) that are made by both men and women in the same amount.
Oxytocin is also responsible for bonding, making us feel safe, calm, and connected. Nature's anti-depressive!
It is released with close interpersonal contacts, which leads to making friendships. It is also released through touch like hugging, walking arm-in arm, and massages .
The big difference is that testosterone mutes Oxytocin bonding effects while estrogen enhances them.
That is explains why when I was going on and on (and on) about my girlfriend troubles to my husband the other day, he just stopped me and(kindly) said "if you were a guy, we wouldn't be having this conversation"

What hapened to Global Warming?

We have more snow then Vancover!

Day one